It's not fair!

Image by Freydís via FlickrI'm pretty sure anyone embarking on a weight loss has uttered the somewhat irrational words: "It's not fair!" 

Maybe we've watched the friend or family member who can eat their body weight in food without putting on a single lb. Or we've worked our asses off all week, only to see no change or a gain on the scales. 

This week, I've been fighting back the words on a daily basis. I'm fed up of always having to watch what I eat. Fed up of seeing friends lose weight easily, simply by cutting out alcohol (I rarely drink these days and it's made bugger all difference.) Fed up of being fed up about my weight. Fed up of being a moany old diet bore :)

But I know those three little words are cowardly and only kick the blame away from my own doorstep. I'm a size 16 because I eat too much. Because I don't exercise enough. Because I've developed a series of unhealthy eating habits that seems hugely difficult to kick. 

I weighed in this morning as I wasn't able to make it to class last weekend. Not a single lb off since 14th January. 

I haven't been perfect for the last two weeks by any means. But I haven't been awful either. Which has led to me pondering "God, I may as well have had seconds of last night's dinner!"

Obviously, I'm doing something wrong, and I think I need to change my whole viewpoint on this losing weight loss thing. I'm hardly going to succeed if I'm always negative about it. And I know the plan works. It's worked in the past, and it'll work again. 

If you've got any tips of how to get in the right mindset, or how to get through this weight wall I seem to have hit, please do leave them in the comments. There's a bridesmaid dress at stake here :)

Fashion: Walking the walk

Yesterday, I popped into London for a meeting and catch up with the editors of a couple of fashion blogs I write for. The ladies I met up with are lovely, super-friendly and very, very trendy. The kind of ladies that can actually pull off tough ankle boots with floaty dresses.

Now, London often makes me feel a little 'country bumpkin' (which, I should mention, is nothing to do with the people I meet who are usually lovely.) It's more of a self-concious thing I've always had, particularly when I'm heavier. If I'm honest, I always felt more fashionable and confident when I was a size 12. I was more likely to take risks with fashion and everything sat better when I was slimmer. Even heels were easier to walk in.

In London, where everyone seems to have jumped off the catwalk, that feeling is pushed under a microscope.

I know I'm supposed to 'embrace my curves.' But there's a difference between curves and...well, too much belly. As a size 16, 5ft 4in apple shape, I fall into the latter category. I know there are plenty of ladies that look gorgeous as a size 16, but I'm sadly not one of them (otherwise I'd continue my ongoing relationship with weekly curries)

And being fashionable is important to me (there, I said it!) After all, if I'm writing about fashion, shouldn't I actually be wearing some of the stuff I write about?

Potentially, I'm going to be visiting and working in their office a couple of times a month soon. Which has given me even more of an incentive to get back into my size 12 jeans. Building my confidence on fashion might seem shallow, but it's a great motivator for me!

Ah Chinese food, my old foe

Image by Yelp.com via FlickrI love Chinese food. Even the slightly-rubbish-but-on-a-cheap-deal type you get in ASDA/Sainsburys/Your nearest supermarket.

But you can't beat a Chinese buffet. In particularly the rather spectacular The Real China in Camberley.

This place has three trolleys packed full of food, plus a teppanyaki bar (which I never quite get round to using despite loving teppanyaki food.) The food range is so wide that you can find sushi, dim sum, chips, chicken nuggets and fish fingers.

So it'll probably come as no surprise to hear that this place has contributed to my growing weight over the last two years. But seeing as I'm on track again this week and I've still got plenty of weekly points left, the boyfriend and I took a little trip to our favourite deep-fried heaven.

It wasn't that bad. I stuck to protein-rich foods and avoided the dessert cart (10 different mini puddings! Ice cream! Fritters!) I'd been fairly good that day too. More importantly though, I ate slowly and mindfully. I have a habit of wolfing down my food so fast that people often comment on it, so it's something I'm trying to work on.

Not entirely sure how many points it added up to, so I'm going to just write off the rest of my weekly points and be good for the rest of the week.

Totally worth it for the duck and pancake roll though.

Do you continue to go to your favourite restaurants when you're on Weight Watchers, or avoid at all costs?

Lazy Chef: One pan ham 'n' egg on toast

Hi, I'm Lazy Chef.

If there's a corner I can cut, a simpler way of cooking something or a microwave I can zap food in, I'll do it.

There's no excuse really. I spent years at school doing home economics and food technology (incidentally, the exact same thing at my school. Two years of which was spent making pastry) I even took an AS Level in it.

But being back on WW means I should probably re-learn how to cook things from *gulp* scratch. My challenge is to try out a new recipe each week from one of the WW cookbooks.

Kicking off with an easy one: one pan ham 'n'eggs on toast (pg 8 of the Seriously Satisfying book)

You will need:
A frying pan. Big enough to fit bread, bacon and egg in.
An egg
Bacon medallions
WW bread
Oil, preferably a spray one.

What to do:
Spray the hot frying pan with oil, and add the slice of bread, turning occasionally.
Add the bacon medallions, and fry for several minutes on each side.
Add the egg into the spare place, and fry until cooked.
Pour it all on a plate and add your favourite sauce.
Eat, smile, rub tummy in happy contentment.

It works out as around 5PP for me, plus you only have to clean up one pan. Win!

Back in control

Image via Wikipedia

Breakfast

Smoothie, made up of strawberries, blueberries, bananas and pourable yoghurt: 4PP

Snack

Mixed berries: 0PP

Lunch

Bacon sandwich, made up of three bacon medallions, 2 slices of ww bread and flora light: 6PP

Snack

Banana: 0PP

Dinner

Mr Brains Pork Faggots x 2: 7PP

Oven baked chips: 7 PP

Sweetcorn: 3PP

4 remaining (in case that banana snack isn't enough!)

Exercise: Play on the Kinnect for several hours, no idea on PP.

This weekend, my family kept commenting on how happy I seemed. And I was. Really happy. But I couldn't put my finger on why. It wasn't until the evening that I realised what it was.

I wasn't going to bed feeling guilty and bloated after what I'd eaten. And I wasn't waking up making empty promises to stick to the plan. Because I'm sticking to the plan. I've been back on it for a few days now and I'm feeling comfortable again with counting points and being in control and not having that horrible feeling like I've gone a bit crazy and consumed far too many pork pies.

I don't understand why sometimes I've got the will power to start the plan and stay on track, and why sometimes when I try and start eating on the plan again, I struggle and end up eating mindlessly. I guess it shows that I just can't jump on and off the plan as I like, because it's so hard to start again. Which, considering how flexible the new plan is, isn't such a bad thing.

I know that all might sound a bit control-freaky to some. But knowing I'm putting good stuff into my body (ok, and the odd naughty chocolate treat) and feeling the effects makes me happy.

Am I alone in thinking like that?

My weight loss inspiration board

What motivates you when you're trying to lose weight? The perfect dress? An occasion you want to slim down for? Being able to run for the bus without having collapsing? Maybe, like me, you stick a pic up of when you were slimmer to remind you that you can do it?

Everyone has different motivators to get them to their goal. Here are a few of mine:

Middle image: Me, in a size 10 dress, in Feb 2009. I'd love to wear it again. This was after losing 2.5 stone the first time I went on Weight Watchers.

Top right image: A size 14 Matalan dress I've had for a few months, but have yet to wear.

Bottom right image: Possibly a bit of TMI, but being on WW helps with a lot of my IBS symptoms.

Bottom left image: My little sister gets married this December. I'll be in a strapless bridesmaid dress. 

Top left image: I genuinely feel better when I eat more fruit and vegetables, and need to get back into the habit. 

I'd love to hear what motivates you to your weight loss goal. Feel free to share your inspiration in the comments!

While I'm here, here's my food diary for today.

Breakfast

WW Bagel: 4PP

Margarine: 1PP

Danone Actimel Strawberry: 2PP

Lunch

Wafer thin roast chicken: 1PP

WW sliced malted danish bread x2: 3PP

Flora light: 1PP

Mixed red berries: 0PP

Activia Pouring Yoghurt: 2PP

Dinner  

Turkey (a result of certain members of the house going mad and buying FIVE turkeys in the clearance sales): 4PP for 4 slices
Mixed vegetables: 0 PP
Yorkshire pudding: 1PP
Gravy: 1PP

I've allowed 9 extra points for dinner as I've heard rumours of pork stuffing, which I can't resist.

Hi, remember me?

*Shuffles in*

Um, I'm the girl who waxed lyrical about the new Weight Watchers ProPoints plan...then promptly fell off the healthy eating wagon after a little holiday in late November. Fall might not be the best word, as it was somewhat voluntary.

As much as I tried, there was zero chance I could stay on the Weight Watchers plan in Disneyland Paris. The majority of meals* were based on re-fried cheese, re-fried chips and, well...it was all pretty much re-fried. McDonalds actually started to look like a healthy option after a couple of days.

While that might have been the excuse while I was away, there was really no excuse for hoovering up an obscene amount of mince pies and turkey sandwiches. I don't even like turkey sandwiches that much.

So here I am, several weeks later and 4.5lbs heavier according to my weigh in at my meeting this morning.

Bugger.

I know the plan works though so I've armed myself with a WW survival pack (above) including the oil spray, measuring spoons, measuring scales and choccie snack bits, and promised my leader Sue I'll get back to blogging. I've got a few other WW resolutions too.

• Try something from the Seriously Satisfying cookbook every week (a book I'd highly recommend by the way, particularly for the entire mouthwatering section based on chocolate)
• Use the measuring spoons, rather than assuring myself that the teaspoon piled dangerously high counts as one serving. It doesn't.
• Renew my friendship with H2O. 
• Find time to exercise, rather than excuses not to.

And here's my eating plan for today.

Breakfast

WW Dark chocolate and orange bar (Eaten at the meeting as I hadn't had time to have breakfast first): 3PP

Lunch

WW Bagel: 4PP

Flora Light: 1PP

WW Carrot Cake (bloody amazing btw) 3PP

Dinner

Small beef fillet steak: 5PP

Cauliflower, mashed with 2 teaspoons of low fat butter and some S&P: 1PP

Other mixed veg, 0PP

Snack

Mixed berry fruit salad: 0PP

Which leaves me with 12PP for a glass of wine tonight (3) and maybe a little cheese sprinkled on the mashed cauliflower. I did a 45 minute workout this morning too, and will be taking the dog for a walk this afternoon.

Not a bad day really, but then it's always a little easier during the weekends. The main struggle is to keep with the plan and ignore those emotional wibbly moments when all I want to do is consume mountains of carbs, chocolate and cheese. Preferably together.

Are you an emotional eater? What do you do to stop yourself doing it?

*The word 'meals' is used in the loosest terms here. I've never had so many rubbish dishes at such obscene prices. The cocktails however, rocked my socks off.